Dictionary

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish................................... ......49

Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone

Athletic................................. .....No t*ts

Average looking.................................. Ugly

Beautiful...........................Patho logical liar

Contagious Smile..................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure......................On medication

Feminist................................. ......Fat

Free spirit................................... .Junkie

Friendship first..........................Former sl*t

Fun...................................... ...Annoying

New-Age.................Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded.............................. ...Desperate

Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate............................... Sloppy drunk

Professional............................. ......B*tch

Voluptuous............................... ....Very Fat

Large frame................................Huge ly Fat

Wants Soul mate...............................Stalke r

DICTIONARY OF WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want...

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is s*x all you ever think

about?

DICTIONARY OF MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have s*x now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have s*x?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have s*x with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have s*x with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have s*x with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have s*x with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay.